So very alone. 

Today I got a very important letter. The contents therein will very likely change my life forever. I know (and continually hope) that it will be for the better. However, knowing the truth of the end from the beginning and especially the middle doesn't change the fact that I am embarrassed, scared, worried, ashamed, and all other negative feelings conducive to this matter. 

Right now the biggest thing I yearn for is a hug. A solid hug from someone that cares about me. But that hug will never come because I will not ask for it. I can't. This is something that I need to go through alone. All this letter did was make everything more real. And it is this very reality that I must face.

I need to suck it up and keep moving forward. That's the only way to leave this all behind me. Nothing else matters more right now.

But in this very "now" I feel so, so, so alone. Dang it. Here come the tears. Control yourself, Cindy. 

Everything is going to be ok... eventually.